If there is one thing I would recommend first and foremost, it would be to use this site. It petitioned the court for several years and had to show them the ongoing issues and problems before they agreed to using this service.
This is not a free service, so there may be some resistance from your ex. Since this site tracks everything – email, calendar, expenses – someone with a personality disorder may refuse to use, because they won’t be able to lie about what was said or when they did things.
If you can convince the lawyers and judge to approve this and make your ex use it, it will help your stress immensely. One of the rules after divorcing a narcissist or borderline personality individual is no contact. Don’t call or talk with them directly. It will only lead to problems for you. Every email is tracked on here. Dates and times are added to each message. Not only that, but dates/times for logging in are recorded.
There is also a calendar so that every activity or reminder for the kids can be added. No more arguing about the time for an event and whether someone was told about it. They then can’t claim they told you about something. If it isn’t on the calendar, you weren’t told about it. No claiming something was on the calendar BEFORE the event when it really wasn’t – it’s timestamped as to when added or edited.
Are they saying you owe them money you already paid or that there is an expense they told you about but really didn’t? Guess what? There is an expense log. if there’s a bill, it should be in here. If something was paid, it should be in here.
It may take a while to be able to force the use of this, but it would be one of the best things to happen to you during the divorce.
Use the link above, and get a discount.